You Know Your a Mom When

Mom-Isms:

(Those silly words/phrases that we catch ourselves saying that remind of us Dear MOM)

•I'm going to give you until the count of three.
•Don't pick, it'll get infected.
•I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
•Who do you think you are?
•I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU are doing!
•What, you want more money? Well, the people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER?
•If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
•You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
•When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.
•Don't use that tone with me!
•Someday your face will freeze like that!
•What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
•Look at me when I'm talking to you.
•You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
•Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
•Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
•No, you can't go steady! You KNOW what that leads to.
•Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
•Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
•Be good -- and don't do ANYTHING to embarrass your parents.
•No child of MINE would do something like that.
•I don't know is NOT an answer.
•Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
•If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
•No.
•Beauty is as beauty does!
•What do you mean you aren't going to eat everything on your plate? Think of those poor starving children in India.
•You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
•If bologna was a tin horn you'd have an orchestra!
•Money does NOT grow on trees.
•I'm not everyone else's parents and you're not everyone else!
•Five minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of hell.
•You made your bed, now lie in it.
•This hurts me more than it hurts you.
•Don't make me tell you again.
•Stop your crying before I give you something to cry about.
•Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
•I'm not going to tell you how to spell that when you can look it up in the dictionary!
•Life isn't fair.
•Who do you think you are? Madam Butterfly?
•Would you do that if the Queen were here?
•When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.
•Look it up in your contract: I'm the Mom, you're the kid. I get to do the nagging.
•There is nothing for nice girls to do past midnight.
•What do you mean CARRY ME? I carried you for nine months!!
•I'm not here to entertain you.
•That's OK, sweetie, anything to get you out of jail!
•Am I talking to a brick wall?
•Eat those carrots, they're good for your eyesight. You never see rabbits wearing glasses, do you?
•There's no shame in being poor, but there is shame in being dirty!
•You'll never live to see sixteen!!
•There's someone either dying or being created under your bed -- look at all this dust!
•Eat your meat.
•Did you flush?
•I worry about you.
•Can you give me an itinerary for your trip?
•Who are you going with? Do I know them?
•I hate having you drive alone at night.
•Somebody's gonna end up crying.
•You don't WANT to clean your room? You don't have to Want to!
•You can be anything you want to, if you just set your mind to it.
•A man who plays when he should be working will never amount to much.
•There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
•What would you do if I wasn't here?
•If you don't quit that, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.
•You'll miss me when I'm gone!
•AFTER you pick up your room, make your bed, brush your teeth and comb your hair, THEN you can go out to play.
•Don't say SHUT UP!
•Close your mouth when you're eating -- you look like a cow!
•Speak up; I can't hear your head rattle.
•Never leave the house hungry.
•Be good -- but if you can't be good, be careful.
•Eat the crust of your bread. It will make your hair curly and your teeth white.
•I resign!
•Remember who you are.
•The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.
•Do as I say, not as I do.
•What will the neighbors think?
•First marry for love, then marry for money.
•Sure, your brother has book smarts, but YOU have street smarts.
•When I was a little girl ...
•Do I have to send you an engraved invitation? Sit down and eat!
•Act your age.
•You just have big bones.
•You must get that from your father's side of the family.
•What have I done to deserve such ungrateful children?
•I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
•But you have a beautiful complexion.
•I hope someday you have children just like you.
•Two wrongs do not make a right.
•Don't talk with your mouth full!
•I wish you kids could see videos of yourselves eating!
•How are things in your little life?
•Don't leave any crumbs on the counter!
•You have a cute little figure.
•Do I embarrass you?
•If you slouch like that, you'll get a hump in your back and no boy will ever ask you out.
•You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.
•This, too, shall pass.
•I don't know why you turned out the way you have.
•Wear clean underwear in case you get in a car wreck and have to go to the hospital.
•I brought you into this world, I can take you out.
•If you'd open your eyes as wide as your mouth, you'd find what you're looking for.
•Pretty is as pretty does.
•You can marry more money in five minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.
•Sit like a lady!
•When are you going to take your bath?
•Do you want a time-out?
•I don't care if Jimmy's Mom said yes.
•Those turtles are playing leapfrog; one got stuck.
Wipe your feet!!
•Enough is enough!
•It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
•I'm not just talking to hear my own voice.
•You girls are pigs -- we live in a pigsty!!
•I'm going to give you until the count of three.•
•As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
•You must think rules are made to be broken.
•So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
•Be a big wheel if you want -- just remember that little dogs go to the bathroom on big wheels.
•Whenever you leave the house, put a dime in your shoe in case you need to call home.
•Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
•Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.
•If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your stomach.
•If you run in the road, a car will hit you and you'll turn into a grease spot and be forgotten.
•Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
•Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
•Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
•Don't put beans up your nose.
•(On threatening to run away) Don't let the door hit you in the rear. . . I'll help you pack. . . Is that a threat or a promise?. . . write if you get work.
•Stop the world and I'll get off.
•Why don't you go out and play on the yellow line?
•If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well.
•Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow.
•Never say "shut up," say "be quiet."
•Don't say "no", say, "I'd rather not."
•Wash behind your ears or you'll have a potato field growing back there.
•Close the door behind you -- were you born in a barn?
•Never answer the phone on the first ring.
•You have to make your bed in case the house burns.
•How can you sleep in an unmade bed?
•If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
•Eat burnt toast, it'll make your hair curly.
•You can't start the day on an empty stomach.
•Why should a farmer buy a cow when he can get the milk for free?
•Lift up your legs when you go over a railroad track and make a wish.
•Two wrongs don't make a right.
•The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
•A miss is as good as a mile.
•Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
•You can't judge a book by its cover.
•It's no use crying over spilt milk.
•You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
•You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
•Little pitchers have big ears.
•Whistling girls and crowing hens always come to some bad end.
•If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

And the all-time clincher...

•Why? Because I SAID so, that's why?